Between Sessions: Part 2

A bite-sized series of insights, reflections, and therapeutic takeaways from the in-between moments of a therapist’s day.

Part 2:

“Letting Go” Doesn’t Mean Giving Up

Written by Emma Nagle, LCSW | January 4, 2026

In Buddhism, "letting go" means non-attachment to desires and outcomes. Think of it as freeing oneself from suffering caused by clinging to what is transient. What it doesn’t mean is disengagement from life's journey.

Letting go involves mindful acceptance of impermanence and a cultivation of inner peace by changing the focus of one's pursuits.

It means shifting from attachment to the result, to appreciation for the process and the present moment. This practice reduces suffering by decreasing negative emotions that arise from the ego's constant need to control and possess. 

Why "Letting Go" Relieves Suffering

• Suffering from Clinging:

  Buddhism teaches that suffering often stems from our attachment to things, people, and ideas, including desires for specific outcomes. When these external factors change or are lost (as they inevitably will be, given the transient nature of reality) we experience pain and dissatisfaction. 

• Letting Go as Acceptance:

  Letting go is an act of acceptance of the present moment and the natural impermanence of all things. It's like dropping a burning item from your hand: you let go because you are aware you are hurting yourself. 

• Focus on the Inner State:

  By releasing the desperate need to control external factors, we can cultivate a state of inner peace and equanimity. This shifts the focus from seeking happiness in external things to finding it from within. 

Why It Doesn't Mean "Giving Up" 

• Non-Attachment, Not Disengagement:

  "Letting go" does not mean abandoning your plans, goals, or the world. Instead, it's a shift in your internal relationship to them. You can still pursue goals with passion, but without the desperate clinging that causes suffering when things don't go as planned.

• Cultivating Compassion:

  Letting go does not equate to a lack of caring. Contrary to what many might believe, compassion can motivate a desire to alleviate suffering and wise action. Criticism and resentment are just two examples of actions and feelings that can appear to be strong driving forces, but can actually strengthen feelings of shame and ultimately inhibit one’s ability to find peace or reduce their suffering.

• Embracing the Journey:

  The practice involves focusing on the journey or process rather than solely on the destination or outcome. This allows for a more cooperative and engaged approach to life, working with the present rather than against it. This is where growth, learning and resilience are built and where life actually happens.

How to Practice Letting Go

• Mindfulness and Self-Compassion:

  Mindfulness techniques can help you recognize your desires and attachments, while self-compassion helps you be gentle with yourself during this process. This might look like observing your thoughts and emotions without judgment, using the breath to release tension and using compassionate language to respond. 

• Understanding Desire:

  Differentiating between harmful craving and beneficial desire is key; letting go focuses on releasing the former. Think about the biggest picture that drives and motivates you, rather than the end result you expect. Harmful craving can present as more compulsive, feel less controllable and are often based on a false sense of need, or feeling of lacking that leads to distress. Beneficial desire is a more conscious choice that may relate to a sense of well-being or self-improvement and can stem from personal goals or values. 

• Surrendering to the Present:

  Instead of fighting the present moment, surrender to it. Acknowledge what is without trying to force it to be different. This is where you are right now and it doesn’t have to be permanent. 

“Letting go gives us freedom, & freedom is the only condition for happiness.

If, in our heart, we still cling to anything - anger, anxiety, or possessions -

we cannot be free.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh,

The Heart of the Buddha's Teaching: Transforming Suffering into Peace, Joy, and Liberation