Homecoming after detox
what families need to know
Written by Emma Nagle, LCSW | November 18, 2025
In the acute phase upon returning home from inpatient treatment it is critical to involve family members and loved ones. This is why most facilities will host a discharge planning meeting with the patient and their family to discuss the transition back home. While it is up to the person with the addiction to maintain their newfound sobriety, having the support and accountability of family and friends can make a world of difference. Unless the inpatient facility offers robust family sessions, the discharge planning process is not always enough to prepare families for what to expect and how to best support their loved one’s addiction recovery.
Here are few guidelines for a supportive transition home:
Get Educated
It’s important to understand what a substance use disorder is and what it is not. The more you understand about addiction and recovery, the better equipped you’ll be to respond with empathy instead of frustration. Addiction isn’t about choice, willpower or morality. It’s a chronic condition that changes brain chemistry, emotional regulation, and behavior. Learning about triggers, post-acute withdrawal, and the psychological shifts that happen in early recovery will help you set realistic expectations and reduce misunderstandings. Education doesn’t mean you have to become an expert; it just means being curious, asking questions, and learning enough to meet your loved one where they are rather than where you wish they were.
Create a Sober Environment
While your loved one coming out of detox might tell you that they don’t mind if you keep drugs or alcohol in the home and don’t want you to change your behavior or routines on their account… change your behavior… get rid of your stash or collection. While not acknowledged by some as a trigger, having alcohol in the home is not ideal. This also means being mindful of keeping vapes out of sight and controlled substance prescription medications in safe places. Be thoughtful of who you invite over, how you host gatherings, and the overall energy in your home. Early recovery is fragile, and even casual exposure to substances or chaotic environments can undo progress before it’s had a chance to take hold.
Promote and Model Healthy Choices
Recovery doesn’t exist in isolation. The lifestyle of the people surrounding someone in early recovery can either reinforce healing or subtly undermine it. You don’t need to overhaul your life to “set an example,” but small shifts matter: eating regular meals, getting adequate sleep, moving your body, and having boundaries with stress or screen time. When your loved one sees you caring for yourself, it reinforces the idea that wellness is not a punishment or chore, but instead, something worth protecting. Modeling balance helps them see what sustainable recovery can look like day to day, not just in theory. Some family members may choose to abstain from substances, but this is a very personal decision and is not a hard and fast rule.
Look Forward (Not Backwards)
You may have a lot to say now that you know your loved one is home. Resentments to express, trust that has been broken, and lots of the relationship to heal. It’s best to avoid bringing up the past, harboring grudges or seeking out apologies when someone is arriving home. It is a transition period and there is already enough to adjust to. Communication should stay focused on relapse prevention and creating routine and stability. If you are struggling with your own responses to past wounds (i.e. anxiety or trust issues) since the homecoming, this is a reminder to not put this on the individual recovering, and instead to seek out your own resources. Deeper healing of relationships will happen in time if you allow your loved one the space to establish their recovery. So, be patient. Look forward to how much stronger of a relationship you can build out of going through this experience.
Be a Team
Your loved one’s recovery belongs to them, but your support is part of the foundation that helps it hold. As many may already knew, addiction is often a family system issue (as well as a larger societal system issue). Being a team doesn’t mean monitoring or policing their sobriety; it means communicating, staying honest about your own boundaries, and creating shared structure. Ask what kind of support they actually want instead of assuming. Be willing to collaborate (not micromanage) on plans that make life smoother. This includes things like routines, shared responsibilities, or scheduling therapy and support groups around family needs. When you treat recovery as a shared effort rather than an individual battle, it reduces shame and isolation for everyone involved.
Take Care of Yourself
Addiction doesn’t just affect one person. It ripples through the entire family system. It’s natural to want to keep watch, to stay alert, to make sure your loved one is okay. But recovery is not something you can do for them. Obsessing over their choices, moods, or progress can become its own form of burnout. The best thing you can do is stay grounded yourself. Keep therapy appointments, connect with your own support network, rest, and do the things that remind you who you are outside of being a caregiver. You can’t be the pillar of support every hour of every day, and you don’t need to be. Taking care of yourself protects your own well-being and makes your support more sustainable in the long run.
For a deeper dive into how to support a loved one in recovery, check out this article that details more specifics about helpful interventions you can apply in daily life.
Looking for a therapist to help you navigate these kinds of issues? Book a consultation with me here.
Stay tuned for a glossary of substance use/addiction terms you should know about.
