Surviving the “Sunday Scaries”

Written by Emma Nagle, LCSW | February 23, 2025

A Therapist’s take on surviving the sensation of impending doom that ruins your weekend.

As the weekend winds down and the sun sets on Sunday evening, many of us experience a familiar sense of dread. This feeling is often referred to as the "Sunday Scaries," a form of anxiety that typically peaks as we begin to think about the upcoming work or school week. While it may feel like a common and isolated experience, it’s a reality for many people—from professionals to high schoolers.

As a therapist, I believe it's important to recognize that the Sunday Scaries aren't simply a fleeting moment of stress; they can be indicative of deeper issues that may need attention. If you find yourself cancelling social plans, struggling to get out of bed, or unable to focus or relax, it is time to learn more about this phenomenon and how to manage it effectively. 

What Are the Sunday Scaries?

The "Sunday Scaries" refers to the anxious or uneasy feeling that people experience as they approach the end of the weekend. This anxiety often intensifies as Monday morning approaches. For some, it manifests as a sense of impending doom or dread about facing responsibilities: work, school, or particular demands of life. Others may notice physical symptoms such as tightness in the chest, headaches, or restless sleep. These negative cognitive or physical symptoms can take away from “Sunday Funday.”

Though it can happen to anyone, people with high-stress jobs, demanding school schedules, or a lack of balance between work and personal life may be more prone to experiencing these feelings.

Why Do the Sunday Scaries Happen?

There are several psychological and emotional factors that contribute to the Sunday Scaries. Understanding the root causes can help you better manage the unease.

Here’s 4 reasons why:

1. Anticipation of Stress and Pressure

For many people, the anticipation of upcoming challenges, deadlines, or meetings can trigger anxiety. Thoughts about the responsibilities ahead can feel overwhelming, leading to emotional flooding and avoidance or procrastination.

2. Lack of Work-Life Balance

The Sunday Scaries may be a symptom of an imbalance between work and personal life. If someone is overworking during the week or taking insufficient time to rest and decompress, they may feel burnt out by Sunday. This can make the idea of facing a new workweek even more anxiety-inducing. A work/life imbalance might also result in spending your only free moments over the weekend completing the dreaded chores that are pushed off during the week. When chores pile up, it can take away from time one was hoping to spend having fun or relaxing. 

3. Feeling Trapped or Unsatisfied in a Job or Routine

Another common cause of Sunday Scaries is dissatisfaction with one's work, personal life, or routine. If someone feels unfulfilled or stuck in their job, the approach of Monday may bring up feelings of frustration or a sense of being trapped in a cycle they can't escape. 

4. difficulty with transitions

Humans thrive on routine. Weekends often allow for flexibility and leisure, so the abrupt shift back to the structured demands of a workweek can create a jarring sense of loss and instability. Knowledge that the carefree pace of the weekend is ending may require mental and emotional recalibration. Physiologically, the body’s internal clock may have to readjust to an earlier sleep schedule if there were disruptions due to late nights. Research in behavioral psychology and stress management has established that even minor transitions require significant adjustments, which is why even a simple day change can feel monumental.

How to Manage the Sunday Scaries

While it’s normal to feel a bit of stress as the weekend ends, there are strategies that can help you reduce anxiety and approach the upcoming week with a calm and confident mindset.

1. Create a Sunday Routine

One of the most effective ways to combat the Sunday Scaries is to establish a calming and grounding routine on Sundays - especially in the evenings. Instead of letting anxiety build as the day goes on, focus on creating a relaxing environment that calms the nervous system and strengthens calming neural pathways in the brain. This could include bringing home a bouquet of flowers to admire all week, light exercise, taking a warm evening bath, meditating, and cozying up on the couch for the most recent HBO Max episode. Building routines and establishing a peaceful environment on Sundays will gradually weaken anxiety-inducing neural pathways, effectively "rewiring" your brain to respond with less anxiety to the scariness that is Sunday. 

2. Plan Ahead

If the Sunday Scaries stem from fear of an unorganized or overwhelming week, planning ahead can be incredibly helpful. Take some time on Sunday afternoon or evening to map out your tasks for the week. Breaking larger projects into smaller, manageable tasks can reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. When you know what to expect, the unknown becomes less intimidating. Doing a brief visualization of your week can give you an improved sense of preparedness. Do yourself a favor and don’t leave the worst chores for the end of the weekend. Tackle the mental ‘to-do’ list ahead of time so you can relax by Sunday evening. If you’re commuting to an office or school, eliminate the number of decisions you have to make on Monday mornings by checking the weather and planning your outfits and/or meals the night before. Also, get yourself a daily planner. 

3. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care is essential to managing stress and preventing burnout. Take time throughout the weekend to recharge and focus on activities that align with your values. If you need a place to start, think: sleeping in, taking your “hot girl walk,” Facetiming with family, or cooking that NYT Cooking recipe you’ve been wanting to try. Making space for self-care can provide the energy and clarity needed to face the week ahead.  

4. Become Aware of Negative Thoughts

Often, the Sunday Scaries are fueled by negative thinking patterns, such as catastrophizing or assuming the worst. It’s important to be mindful of and to challenge these thoughts when they arise. Ask yourself: “What am I actually worried about? What’s the worst that could happen, and how likely is it?” Take notice when your mind is running away with “what ifs” or getting obsessive over things like waking up on time or facing your boss about that looming deadline. Being able to recognize unhelpful patterns in your thinking helps put distance between reality and those unnecessary worries. Reframing your thoughts in a more realistic, wise and balanced way can help alleviate distress. 

5. Address Deeper Issues

If your anxiety around Sundays is rooted in dissatisfaction with your job or a feeling of burnout, it may be time to take a closer look at those issues. If burnout is severe, it can lead to unfulfilling weekends resulting from never feeling fully mentally or physically recovered from the workweek. If you find yourself worrying about the upcoming week before the clock strikes Sunday, and it’s impeding on your precious downtime, it might be time to reach out for professional support. Working with a therapist can help you explore underlying sources of unhappiness, and together, you can create a plan to address them. Sometimes, making small changes in your work habits or speaking to your employer about your workload can make a big difference. Setting boundaries for yourself can also be key to avoiding resentment about work. 

6. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS

Sunday Scaries may tempt you to spend the day dissociating by binge-watching Friends, doom-scrolling or drinking alcohol. While distracting activities may temporarily relieve emotional distress or its intensity, they ultimately harm you in the long run by failing to address underlying emotions or issues. Mindfulness practices, like deep breathing, grounding techniques, or guided meditation, can help you stay in the present moment to avoid your thoughts spiraling into the future or allowing your brain to check out entirely. These practices can be especially helpful when the anxiety starts to build on Sunday evening and work best when practiced in a weekly routine. Check out a Youtube video on yoga stretches you can do from bed or dump your running stream of consciousness into a journal to clear the mind before hitting the hay. 

7. Limit Screen Time

Before bed, limit your screen time—especially exposure to work emails, social media, or negative news. Constantly consuming information or comparing your weekend to your peers’ can trigger stress, FOMO, and make it harder to wind down. Blue light emitted from your cell phone, tablet and TV, is a known sleep disruptor suppressing the production of melatonin, a hormone crucial for regulating sleep cycles. This leads to difficulty falling asleep and reduced sleep quality. Instead, opt for a good old fashioned book or relaxing binaural beats that stimulate brain waves promoting relaxation and sleep. 

8. “Treat Yo Self”

Parks and Rec was onto something when it highlighted the greatness of treating oneself. To put it simply, treating yourself means having something to look forward to and working towards that reward. How can this help with existential dread on Sundays? By planning and anticipating a “treat” in the near future, you can combat negative feelings by creating a positive focus that acts like an anchor for your mind. This can help you feel more energized and motivated to push through long days and tough tasks as it cultivates a more optimistic view of the future. This could look like splurging on the fancy coffee beverage to kickstart your Monday morning or grabbing dinner with a coworker midway through the week. The power of little indulgences can go a long way in shifting your thinking. 

 Summarizing How to Survive

The Sunday Scaries are a common experience for many, but that doesn’t mean the overwhelm has to ruin your weekend. By understanding the causes of this anxiety and implementing effective coping strategies, you can reclaim your Sundays and enjoy the start of the week with a clear mind and a calmer attitude. Remember: You don't have to face the Sunday Scaries alone, and there are steps you can take to create a balanced, fulfilling week. It all starts with self-awareness, planning, and prioritizing your mental and emotional well-being. If you find that your anxiety persists or intensifies, seeking professional support can provide the tools needed to break free from the cycle and create a healthier relationship with your work and your weekends.

“those goddamn ducks.”

Written by Emma Nagle, LCSW | November 19, 2024

How to successfully navigate complex family dynamics over the holidays based on what Tony Soprano has taught us about the importance of family.

As New Yorkers, it’s considered a crime to have never watched The Sopranos. Haven’t seen the show in a decade? You might be due for a rewatch of this beloved classic drama that depicts the head of the Italian mob, Tony Soprano, and his struggle to manage his family life and his family business. For true fans of this early 2000’s show, you’ve probably caught on to the symbolism that is those goddamn ducks swimming around in Tony Soprano’s pool causing him existential dread over his role as a father. 

The ducks in his pool represent a nuclear family that gives us a glimpse into Tony’s softer side and demonstrate his efforts to create a safe space for these ducks to swim and have their ducklings. Tony’s homemade ramp for the ducklings’ easy access in and out of the pool gives us all the evidence we need to suggest that Tony is eager to hold onto those precious moments of starting his own family. Throughout the show, preoccupation sets in for Tony about being able to contain the duck family, much like that of his preoccupation with keeping crime life out of his personal home for fear of losing his loved ones altogether. Over the course of six seasons, we watch Tony agonize over the growing disconnect between him and his teenage daughter Meadow and his on and off again marriage to Carmela. Tony becomes depressed as he witnesses the ducks flying out and away from his New Jersey suburban pool - the home he created for them. Therapy sessions with Dr. Melfi conclude that the ducks flying away from his pool symbolizes the fear of losing of his own nuclear family and subsequently his American Dream. 

As complicated as Tony’s family and business lives are, he still regretted some of his decisions that didn’t put his family first. “Those goddamn ducks” implies a tinge of resentment over how vulnerable the ducks make Tony feel. Despite the ways in which he saw his family as a vulnerability to him and his business, Tony longed for a peaceful relationship with his sister and children and to reconnect with his wife whom he pushed away against his better judgment. So what can we learn from Tony Soprano about what is most valuable to us at the end of the day? Family and connection. As complicated as families are, there is something so important about maintaining these relationships, which are often put to the test over the holidays. 

Interested in learning how to tolerate your resentments towards those ducks and how to navigate complex relationships over the holidays? Read below for some easy tips for a more peaceful and unified holiday experience:

Get in the spirit

If you’re not super excited to be spending such quality time with your family this season, it is important to find something you are grateful for and can look forward to. No need to overthink it either… Set your sights on making the crowd-pleasing dessert that perfectly matches the occasion. Or perhaps you’re more into treating yourself to a holiday-themed outfit? Not every family is going to go for matching PJs and a photoshoot, but consider what makes you feel good and excited for the holidays. If that means dressing up and having somewhere to be - go for it! Some families love to make holiday cookies. Perfecting the family recipe or taste testing a cookie sampler with a side of hot chocolate is a tried and true way to get yourself mentally prepared - and excited - for the season. Off from school or work? Now is the perfect time to rewatch all your favorite holiday-themed TV episodes - The O.C.’s beloved Chismukkah episode comes to mind and just about every season of Gilmore Girls has a delightfully complicated Christmas episode to watch for inspiration. Take a page of Lorelei Gilmore’s book for how to properly get in the holiday spirit (think Björk-snowmen and snowed in dinner parties with all of your neighbors.)

Getting in the spirit should be personal to you and should include aspects of the holiday season that you can embrace the most. 

Focus on the collective joy of the season

This means putting your energy into being a part of the group and your intentions on building healthier relationships. Our presidential election has divided the country and inevitably divided families all over the country too. Instead of focusing on your political discrepancies, focus on what values you can agree on, such as being together for the holidays. If this means tabling all politics for the season, so be it! Move away from conversations that will incite controversy and move towards conversations that will connect one another. 

Need some pragmatic ways to connect if politics are off the table?

Consider some of these ideas from the list below:

• Turkey Trot - focus the family’s attention on the impressive and hilarious Thanksgiving tradition that is running a long distance on Thanksgiving morning before feasting in the evening. Make it interesting with lighthearted bets or ridiculous outfits to run in. 

• Uphold (or invent) family traditions - for many this might look like going around the dinner table and verbalizing something each person is grateful for. It’s sentimental, it’s meaningful, and it’s sure to bring family closer together. Another easy tradition that comes to mind is the Wishbone tradition. Pick the family member you’d like to compete with, make a wish, and break that bird bone! There are many easy holiday traditions to fold into your family get togethers. Spin the dreidel and White Elephant are games that work for practically all age groups. 

• Pitch In - nothing screams louder that you’re a team player than offering your assistance to the host. Tie the apron around you and get to work with food preparation or at the end of the night, put on some rubber gloves and get to work cleaning up a dinner of epic proportions. 

• Holiday Movies - spending the night at your relatives house? An easy way to bond without risking dialogue drifting towards climate change is to watch a holiday classic together. Who doesn’t love reciting quotes from the master of Christmas spirit, Buddy the Elf? No family is immune to the wholesome message the McCallisters learn that accompanies a binge watch of the Home Alone movies. Here I might recommend avoiding The Many Saints of Newark or anything Sopranos related - the Sopranos may have some good family morals, but it comes with a side of racketeering, gambling and murder…  

Know your limits

Just because we are putting the emphasis on the collective as a family-time survival skill, does not mean that the relationships with family need to be boundaryless. Knowing your limits and how to successfully exit a conversation or a situation that is not going to benefit you or the health of the relationship is an important technique. Being able to say ‘no’ to an invite you’d like to decline is actually a strength. Being able to walk away or successfully agree to disagree when the name Trump comes up could be key to maintaining your sanity and the virtue of the holiday.

Consider whether you are the odd one out, inclined to start a risky debate after a few glasses of wine. If so, knowing your limits applies to your alcohol consumption as well. The holidays at your family members’ house is not the time to attack one’s morals or to solve the immigration crisis. Instead, stick to a drink count going into the holiday event.

If you are not the instigator of debates, you can say something like “you raise some interesting ideas… I’d like to think more about this and discuss it at another time.” Find a reason to gently exit an argument before it gets heated - offer to get started clearing the table or doing some dishes, prep the dessert in the kitchen, walk the dog… you get the idea. Removing yourself from the conflict briefly can actually protect your relationship with your ducks and keep them from flying away permanently. 

Needless to say, having some general boundaries for holiday get-togethers is key for keeping the peace unless you want a dysfunctional dinner table that rivals that of The Sopranos’.

As Tony Soprano points out to his children at the dinner table in Season 1,

“Someday soon, you’ll have families of your own.

And if you’re lucky, you’ll remember the little moments.”

These little moments of connection over food, football, holiday movies, are what help nurture our most complex family relationships during required family-time.  As the holidays approach, remember to focus on the joy of the season, redirecting your energy to the ‘collective,’ and knowing when it is time to leave.

4 Reasons to Start Therapy

Questioning whether you should be in therapy? Whether you are trying to get to know yourself better or you need to talk to someone about specific symptoms you might be noticing, therapy can benefit you at any stage in life. Below are 4 reasons to get started with therapy today.

1. Optimize your overall well-being

   You don’t have any fires to put out in life right now, but there is always room for improvement for better habits. Therapy can help you explore issues of procrastination or assist with achieving your optimal health goals. Taking time each week to learn about yourself and if there are any old narratives and habits that might be getting in the way of personal growth.

2. Heal from your past traumas

   Maybe you are functioning enough to get through your day, but you are feeling drained, lonely or discouraged. There is no perfect time to start addressing past trauma or childhood wounds; however, by getting started in therapy you are offering yourself a chance to lean into buried emotions and make meaningful changes in your life.

3. Build healthier relationships 

   Psychotherapy often focuses on how we relate with others. Beginning with a therapist gives you an opportunity to explore emotions, thoughts and behaviors that influence relationships with yourself and others around you. Whether it is an issue of not seeing eye-to-eye with a partner or a challenging relationship with a boss, therapy is a safe space to talk through uncomfortable relationship stressors. Having a neutral party to work through patterns that keep coming up helps to give attention to underlying triggers and emotions.

4. Cope with everyday stress & anxiety

   You may be used to suffering through Sunday Scaries or anxiety about stepping foot out of your routines thinking there isn’t much you can do to change these problems. Therapists can help you discover new ways of coping with stressors to bring you some relief. Education on cognitive mindfulness can be provided and reinforced in weekly sessions when symptoms of anxiety have become unmanageable. Don’t underestimate the power of allotting an hour of your week to finding ways to better be supported and ways to better support yourself.

Election anxiety

Are you feeling stressed out about the 2024 election?

As election day approaches you might be noticing an increase in stress - tension in your body, irritability, worrying thoughts and difficulty focusing.

Stress that lasts over the course of weeks or months is considered chronic. News about the election, political disagreements with family and friends and voting day right around the corner can all be leading to physiological symptoms of anxiety due to triggering stress hormones. 73% of surveyed adults from the annual APA mental health poll are feeling specifically anxious about the 2024 U.S. election. 

How to cope with election uncertainty and negativity? Here are 3 strategies to reduce that inner alarm system. 

First, start by avoiding the 24-hour news cycle. Select your few reliable news sources and mediums and limit the amount of minutes or hours you are spending staying informed about the electoral race. Nobody feels good when they are bombarded by broadcasts all day long that can be negative or catastrophisizing in nature. 

Second, mentally prepare for either candidate to win. Imagine whether you might need some space to process the outcome or a friend to celebrate with. Maybe you need to take a moment to reflect on what you might say to a loved one you have had political disagreements with. Feeling a sense of preparation regardless of the outcome can reduce feelings of nervousness and anticipation about the future.

Lastly, stop judging yourself. It is normal to have feelings about how the future will unfold in this U.S. election. It shows that you care about important issues that can influence our country. Many Americans are eager to know who will be our next president and you’re not alone in experiencing worrying thoughts in the days leading up to the election. Now might be a good time to check in with that friend who can understand your emotional stress and offer you support.

Be mindful about how you talk to yourself when it is normal to have a reaction to what goes on in the news politically.

Some may choose to attend watch parties while others may choose to tune out and wake up to a new president. No matter how you choose head into election day, know that you are not alone in feeling the weight of the 2024 U.S. Election. It is important to check in and ask yourself where and how you are experiencing stress so you can start to address it.